Yin and Yang

Again the caveat is that I am pretty new to all of this and it is just my interpretation and blending of ideas. It might not speak to you. I might change my perspective in a year or two but these are my current thoughts on the subject. 

So I have to amend my standard caveat. Yin and Yang is something that I do have experience with, having in my youth studied Chinese Medicine. This will likely be slightly less shamanism based and more esoteric, but I always said my spirituality was a blend of shamanism, Daoism and Buddhism. 

Insert standard rant here. Language is very difficult here and the term Yin and Yang comes with a massive amount of cultural baggage. It is wonderful that it is a term so widely known as it is a beautiful idea, but that means certain ideas and (worse) beliefs have been hung on these words. It makes it very difficult to talk about this with understanding the correct context. For example two very different standpoints could be taken, a Daoist view, where yin and yang are about two different ways of viewing the same thing, or a Confucian view which might pertain more to the correct structure of society and order. 

Then from one of these starting points we have to heap on the cultural baggage of at least 2000 years plus everyone’s own personal interpretation built from their knowledge and experience. Then there is the problem that the English language hasn’t evolved to support talking about abstract esoteric ideas, quite the opposite in fact, but that is a rant for another day.

So you have read this far and I haven’t really said anything beyond the fact that it is difficult to say anything. Well done for sticking with me this far. Now I have to try and get us on the same page (my page as I am writing from my cultural and experiential baggage) so that we can observe this from a similar place. 

My ideas of Yin and Yang. Looking at the symbols we can see that they are linked by hill or mound. One is the shady side and one is the sunny side. Therefore we have two different ways of viewing something. This is important to this article and I will circle back to it later.

They are also not a static thing but a process of change always moving from one to the other and always containing an element of the other within it. I think in Western culture this is often how it is perceived but I feel there is something missing from it that when we see the most Yin we only see that and not the fact that this has the most potential for yang. Let me try and help this make sense. Winter is considered Yin and Yang is considered summer. This makes sense to us and is often left there. These things are put in their proper Yin/Yang boxes and labeled properly. Please see article 4 for a more expansive guide to my view on boxes. Winter is where seed lie dormant under the soil, all that energy and potential waiting for the spring to be released. They contain all the potential Yang. Therefore the most Yin is also right on the tipping point of transforming and moving towards the most Yang. I hope this made sense, the words are hard to order.

There is also the concept that they are not separated at all but are just two expressions of the Dao. The oneness that is beyond words and description. This splitting of it into two things allows description and understanding but is ultimately an illusion and not truth. 

So hopefully I have given you some context to my understanding and the position where I stand. Whether you agree with me or not I am hopeful that you can come and stand next to me so we can observe from the same place. 

How do I want to relate these ideas to polyamory. 

The object I wish for us to observe is a relationship. Come stand here. We look at it. We have our understanding from here where we are of what it is. 

Look over there. That person is monogamous. They are staring at the same thing but their view is different from ours. The thing we are viewing though is still a relationship. It’s just how we perceive it that changes and this informs how we react to it. Despite all my knocking of monogamy I don’t inherently have a problem if people truly think about it and choose it. Since opening up I have had a lot of conversations with friends who have stated that they couldn’t do it, but then when asked why they don’t really have an answer. A few have gone away and reflected on it and themselves, and whether it is some old trauma or how they view the relationship (waves at the person on the other side of the hill) then I totally respect their view and will hold it sacred and safe for them.

Look over the other way. Yeah I know, weird right. That person isn’t even looking at what we are. They literally have their back to the relationship and won’t engage in any discussion about it. This is how I feel a lot of people are. If we try to open up to them we are met with hostility and judgment. I am not trying to say I have an answer for this, just that I am trying to understand how they can be so happy not understanding themselves or how they relate to and impact the world.   

There is a lot more that can be said on this but before I dive in any further I want to reflect on it some more and see what feedback I get from this. I might be totally wrong.

Stay lovely and loving.